A day at school
by Instant Vegetable
Summary: A screwy day at school for some anime characters


A Regular School Day  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters mentioned.  
  
(note: In some reviews I got a opinion stating that I use to much cursing. For my reply, think of it as a Sopranos episode with swears coming out every sentence. In my opinion, I think that swearing adds to the humor of the story so I doubt i'll cut some of it out. And I may possibly write The Party sequel. I haven't thought about it yet.)  
  
A group of Anime characters are going through high school when they come to their Pre-Calculus math class when they find out they have a substitute, and the substitute is.....yep you probably guessed it...............Vegeta!  
  
Davis: Sweet! A sub!  
  
Ash: Alright! Pikachu go. I'm going to catch me a subtitutemon!  
  
Davis: Hey isn't that a Digital Monster name?  
  
Ash: Whatever  
Pikachu lunges at Vegeta.  
Vegeta hits Pikachu sending him (or it, whatever the hell it is) through the window and into a tree causing Pikachu to explode.  
  
Ash: Oh my god! Pikachu!  
  
Vegeta: Sit down you freak with the screwed hair before I send you to the principals office!  
Trowa walks in.  
  
Ash: I have screwed hair? Look at his!  
  
Vegeta: Shut the hell up! Sit down! All of you, before I kill you all!  
Everyone takes their seats.  
The bell rings.  
  
Vegeta: Ahhh, what the hell was that!  
Vegeta blows up the PA speaker in the room.  
  
Van: Whoa! Bad temper their.  
  
Vegeta: Shut the fuck up bitch!  
Just then the principal walks by and hears Vegeta swear at Van.  
  
Principal: Excuse me? What did you say to him? Come here, I want to have a word with you Mr.Vegeta.  
Vegeta walks out of the classroom.  
  
Principal: You've taught as a substitute before Mr.Vegeta and you know our policy of swearing.  
  
Vegeta: Yes I know that, it's just that I'm very tired right now, and have you ever looked at those freaks' hair? It drives my nuts!  
  
Brock: Ohhh, maybe he's going to get fired?  
  
Principal: They're not freaks!........  
The principal looks in through the door.  
  
Principal: Oh my god they are freaks! Look at all of them, you could poke someones eyes out with that kind of hair!  
  
Vegeta: I told you.  
All the students can hear is yelling. They hope that Vegeta will get fired so they can have a spare.  
  
Principal: Well, I see how you feel Mr.Vegeta. Carry on, just try not to swear as much alright.  
  
Vegeta: You're telling me what to do? I am my own master!  
The students see a large splat of blood on the door window and vegeta walks in with his suit covered in thick red blood. Everyone stares at him with wide eyes.  
  
Vegeta: What the hell are you staring at?!  
Vegeta pulls out a liquor bottle in a brown paper bag from behind his desk and takes a drink from it.  
  
Serena: Hey were not allowed alcohol in the school so that means you can't either.  
  
Vegeta: Why don't you go visit the principals office you little whore.......oh wait, forget that order (vegeta looks out at the principals corpse) You might as well stay.  
  
Duo: Uhhh, Mr.Vegeta, I don't think you should have called her a whore, I think you should appologize to her now.  
  
Vegeta: Why don't you appologize to this bitch!  
Vegeta throws the liquor bottle at Duo smashing it in his face.  
  
Vegeta: Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
Heero: Duo are you alright!  
  
Duo: I can't see! My eyes, the alcohol, it burns!  
Duo passes out.  
  
Heero: You little.....  
  
Vegeta: Ah, sit back down freak, I'm not getting paid for nothing you know. We're here to learn about Pre-Calculus.  
  
Piccolo: Like you know anything about Pre-Calc.  
  
Vegeta: Oh really, well, why don't we look at your marks Piccolo.   
Vegeta pulls out the student mark book.  
  
Vegeta: 5%, 12%, 9%, 32%, and 31% on your last tests. You're a friggin vegetable! Anyways where did your teacher leave off at?  
  
Matt: Some shit, I don't know.  
  
Vegeta: What did you say?  
  
Matt: I said some shit, I don't know.  
  
Vegeta: No swearing allowed in this classroom! Except for me, now come here little freak, I'm going to wash your mouth out with cyanide! Ha ha ha ha!  
  
Matt: Crap.  
Matt jumps out the window and runs off leaving a trail of piss behind.  
  
Brock: Don't you think you were a little to hard on him?  
  
Vegeta: Who said that, oh you, the little blind freak, why don't you open up your eyes so you can see.  
  
Brock: My eyes are open!  
  
Vegeta: No they're not!  
  
Brock: Yes they are!  
  
Vegeta: No they're not!  
  
The whole class: YES THEY ARE!  
  
Vegeta: Whatever, I still think he's blind though.....Piccolo! What's 3 times 2?  
  
Piccolo: Uhhhhhhh..................................5?  
  
Vegeta: You fool! Just for that you fail!  
  
Piccolo: You can't do that!  
  
Vegeta: I just did.  
Vegeta writes fail in the mark book beside Piccolos name.  
  
Piccolo: Damnit!  
  
Vegeta: I said no swearing! Drop your pants now, I'm going to give you a spanking with the meter stick!  
  
Piccolo: Teachers aren't allowed to do that anymore!  
  
Vegeta: Drop them lime face!  
  
Piccolo: .......Fine.......  
Piccolo drops his pants  
  
Vegeta: Holy shit! Blue balls! I've never seen those before. Since your a Namek im going to attach 12 inch nails to the stick.  
  
Van: You racist prick!  
Vegeta stabs Van in the eye with a nail spraying pus and blood everywhere. Van falls to the floor. (no one cares about Van because no one is his friend)  
A cricket catches Ash's eye.  
  
Ash: Yes a cricket! I'm going to catch it! Go Charizard!  
Charizard comes out of the pokeball.  
  
Vegeta: What the hell is that!?  
  
Ash: It's Charizard, he's a Pokemon.  
  
Vegeta: A he hey? Well than I guess you wouldn't mind me chopping of his dick then.  
  
Mimi: Eeeww!  
Vegeta looks at Mimi.  
  
Vegeta: Ya right. Whoever thinks Mimi is a slut raise their hands!  
Everyone except Mimi raises their hands.  
  
Mimi: Hey!  
  
Vegeta: I'm sure you'de like a fat sausage every now and then, wouldn't you? WOULDN'T YOU?!!  
  
Mimi: No I wouldn't!  
  
Vegeta: You know what? Why don't you suck it slut!  
Vegeta's hands go down near his crotch and are about to unzip the fly, Vegeta unzips the fly and a massive 40 foot sausage flies out.  
  
Quatre, Heero, Duo, Trowa, Wufei, Davis, T.K, Izzy, and Ash: Ahhhhhhhhh!!! My eyes!!!!!(Brock doesn't say anything cause he really is blind)  
  
Relena: Mmmmm, that looks good......  
Vegeta puts it away.  
  
Vegeta: After class..........if you survive.  
  
Relena: (thinks to herself) Mmmm, I can't wait!  
After recovering, Ash puts Charizard away.  
  
Izzy: Are we ever going to get down to doing some work cause if you don't have any for us i'd rather be at home on my computer. I just got the new P3 1 gig processor and a 9200 rpm 500 gig hard drive, and a 65 inch flat panel screen.  
  
T.K: How does all that fit in your room?  
  
Izzy: I don't really have a room, I live on the street, I just say that I have all that stuff so people don't bug me.(Izzy whispers to T.K.)  
  
Vegeta: Yes, I guess we could do some work.  
Vegeta walks to the front of the room and begins to right notes on the board.  
The class starts to copy them.  
  
A dozen eggs  
4 two-litre cartons of milk  
22 pounds of cheese  
80 pounds of chocolate bars  
3 tubes of toothpaste  
  
Vegeta: There, solve that.  
He sits down at his desk and pulls out another liquor bottle in a brown paper bag.  
Lita raises her hand.  
  
Vegeta: Why is your hand raised like that?  
  
Lita: I have a question.  
  
Vegeta: Well, what is it then?  
  
Lita: What are we supposed to solve for.  
  
Vegeta: You solve the shit on the board!  
Vegeta looks at the board.  
  
Vegeta: What the fuck! Oh shit that's my grocery list!  
Vegeta erases it.  
Davis raises his hand.  
  
Vegeta: What do you want freak?!  
  
Davis: Can I go to the washroom.  
  
Vegeta: I don't know if you can, are you disabled or something, do you have legs? Are you in a wheelchair, do you need special assistance., do you need someone to wipe your ass for you when your done, do you have trouble peeing, do you piss blood and you need someone there just in case you do so you can tell them to call the ambulance, are you lonely sitting there or standing there all by yourself, do you like the idea of someone watching you you sick person, do you need someone to clean the toilet seat after you're done because your ass has some sort of disease, ecoli perhaps?  
  
Davis: No none of those.  
  
Vegeta: I knew it, you have no legs and you need someone to carry you to the washroom.  
  
Davis: No, I have legs see.  
Davis stands up.  
  
Davis: So can I go?  
  
Vegeta: Ya, Relena, go with him.  
  
Davis and Relena: What?  
  
Vegeta: Go damnit!  
  
Davis: But I don't need any assistance, why does she have to come.  
  
Vegeta: Because I said so, now get going or I won't let you go at all.  
  
Davis: Yes already.  
Davis and Relena leave.  
  
Wufei: Mr.Vegeta we only have about 10 minutes left, can we go?  
  
Vegeta: Go where? You all want to go help Davis take a shit?  
  
Wufei: No, I mean can we leave class since we're not going to be doing anything.  
  
Vegeta: I'll think about it........no!!  
  
Wufei: But why?  
  
Vegeta: Because I said no, and that's my final answer!  
  
Wufei: Crap.  
  
Vegeta: Why don't we all just sit here and get to know each other better. What's your name freak?  
Vegeta looks at Izzy.  
  
Izzy: My names Izzy, I like computers.  
  
Vegeta: Really, would you like to marry a computer when you grow up Izzy.  
  
Izzy: Yes I.......NO!  
  
Vegeta: Ha ha ha ha. What about you blind boy?  
  
Brock: My names Br.....  
Vegeta interrupts.  
  
Vegeta: Shut up, I don't care what your name is.  
Vegeta's eyes start to get heavy. Vegeta's head drops to the desk and falls asleep.  
  
Ash: Yes he's asleep lets leave.  
Everyone walks out to go home. Mimi is the last one out but she stays behind. Mimi walks up to the sleeping Vegeta and unzips his pants.  
  
Mimi: Finally......  
  
  
PLEASE REVIEW IF POSSIBLE, THANKS. More fics on the way soon. I hope you like this one, it wasn't one of my better one though, but I still find it humourous.  



End file.
